See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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