Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Randomize
