guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
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