I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize