Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
