I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Randomize
