arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
