I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
