Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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