She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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