could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
It's never too late to be topless.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
