Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Randomize
