what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize