This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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