haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
