i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
