my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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