I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
