Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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