I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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