I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
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