put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
