i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Randomize
