Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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