I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
