A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
