THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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