dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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