it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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