you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
