he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
