Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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