Im at strip club and am horny
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
