If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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