hell yes lets make some ravioli
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
