I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
