New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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