I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
