GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
my poor anus
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
