i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
