She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I AM VODKA MAN
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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