So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I wish you could order shots online.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Randomize
