Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Randomize
