how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
