And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
