Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
