my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
