So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
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