sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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