i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
