And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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