i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
