I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
