Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
What drink are we having for lunch?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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