tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Randomize
