god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
