I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
