there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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