Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
You dont lie about slip and slides
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
