also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
