how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
