i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
