So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
