There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
