i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
